Our fearless band of part-time pirates, the Buccaneers of Lake Charles, descended upon a local bowling alley this evening to compete for some fantastic prizes. That’s right- they all consisted of some sort of alcohol. Sure, go ahead and laugh, but you have to admit. It sure beats some stupid trophy that will sit on the shelf in the den until your wife one day finally tosses it out along with your back issues of Sports Illustrated.

We have two bowling alleys here in Lake Charles, and the fact that we picked the less well maintained of the two is an understatement. The lanes appear not to have been re-waxed since they cancelled M*A*S*H. My lane actually looked like a terrorist parked a car bomb on it at one time. It didn’t really matter, though, the way our group bowls.

The first thing I noticed when I sat down to put my bowling shoes on was that there was a sign posted warning how bowling is a physical sport and that could potentially be hazardous. I know that in this day and age businesses have to warn you about everything, but I never thought I’d see bowling lumped in with other physical pursuits such as bungee jumping and whitewater rafting.

The fact that we were competing for the Grand Prize of a bottle of Crystal Skull vodka brought out the best in us tonight. Some of us actually managed to strike some pins with the ball, particularly as the night wore on and the alcohol loosened us all up.

No, I did not win the Crystal Skull vodka, nor did I win the prize for being the first person to fall on his ass while attempting to deliver the ball. Next time I’ll drink more beer and thus improve my chances.