There sure is a lot of discussion these days about the health care reform bill that congress is currently working on.

I don’t think I’ve seen so much public debate on any topic since opinions flared over who should have won the last American Idol.

The only thing about this bill that everybody agrees about is that it’s got a lot of pages. It’s got so many pages, in fact, that not a single member of Congress has had time to read it. For all they know, it could require a patient to get a second opinion from a witch doctor before undergoing any surgical procedure. Or, dread the thought, it may even contain a provision that places a cap on the size of breast implants. (We wouldn’t have had to worry about that under any Clinton plan.)

This would be a direct threat to our American way of life. We might as well be living under the rule of the Taliban.

So, there is intensive argument from both sides of the aisle regarding a bill that none of them know anything about. That’s nothing new; to do it any differently would break from decades of American tradition. After all, congressmen are very busy people. They have to attend many important hearings, like the ones where they scold auto executives for not coming from Detriot on bicycles. And when they’re not doing that, they have to pour through brochures from Lear and Cessna so they can make an informed decision on where to spend the next $500 million that they’ve borrowed from the Chinese for new congressional jets.

One argument that you hear a lot is that the bill would lead eventually to nationalized health care, and if that happened, it would seriously jeopardize the quality of care that we enjoy here in the U.S. This is a legitamite concern. After all, it’s well know that, among other things, our doctors’ offices are equipped with the most high-tech tongue depressors in the world. The way I hear some people talk about it, with nationalized health care, we might end up having recycled popsickle sticks shoved down our throats whenever we say, “Ahhh.”

On the other hand, I, for one, don’t think I’d be a happy camper if the government were my only option for health insurance. Judging from the tax form I have to fill out every year, I could just imagine what the insurance application would be like:

“Enter on line 28 the number of prescription medications that you take. If the number is two or more (three if you are married and applying jointly), fill out the worksheet on page 62 of the instructions to determine if you are required to submit form 3307A with this application.”

No thanks; I think I’d rather die young. On second thought, I think it’s too late for that.