It’s been a wild week in Louisiana, but what else is new? Here’s a summary of just some of the stories that unfolded last week:

• Perhaps the most surprising development was that the New Orleans Saints jumped off to a 2-0 record to start the 2009 NFL season. There was little fanfare after the opening win against the Detroit Lions, who hadn’t won a game since the last Model T rolled off Ford Morors’ assembly lines. However, they really turned some heads by going into Philadelphia and upsetting the Eagles, who were heavily favored despite having to resort to starting Kevin Kolb at quarterback, him being the only Eagles’ passer who was not injured on on parole. Drew Brees emerged as the hero in the early going, already having accumulated enough passing yards to span Lake Ponchatrain. The season is still young, however, so hold off a bit before making those ski reservations in hell.

 

• Louisiana Congressman Steve Scalise continues his attempt to RSVP a White House invitation to talk heath care with the President over a few beers on the lawn. Scalese continues to express confidence that they can come to a bipartisan agreement over whther the beer should be draft or bottled. 

 

• The state got yet another failing grade by a national nonprofit group, this time on the quality of education and healthcare. Rapides parish officials respond by urging citizens stop watching television, believing that excessive viewing is a major cause for poor school performance and unhealthy lifestyles. This is expected to do little good, as people have mostly shut of thier sets, tired of seeing President Obama on every channel including QVC.

 

• Following an initial euphoria over the end of the long summer drought, state residents became disillusioned as mosquitoes once again rose from the bayous in vast numbers. Farmers who before could not feed thier cattle on the dry grasslands now face a new problem as they see thier herds being carried off by the swarms. And speaking of pests…

 

• Intelligence agents from the LSU Ag Center report that a new species of what they call “crazy ants” are massing at the Texas border in apparent preparations for a full scale invasion of the state. These ants, they say, form massive colonies with multiple queens and suffer from severe inbreeding, thus making them so crazy. Still, Ag Center officials warn that they are a force to be reckoned with, as they form massive swarms that move haphazardly, much like revelers descending on the French Quarter on Fat Tuesday. Law enforcement agencies in western parishes vowed to set up highway checkpoints this weekend to nab the intruders.