I read a story in the newspaper recently how researchers at Yale University have developed a car that will actually warn the driver of conditions that might result in an accident.  For instance, if another car moves up into the blind spot on your left, where you can’t see it in the mirrors, a probe comes out from the driver’s side door and gives you a sharp poke in the ribs as a warning.  If a car comes up and starts tailgating you, you get jabbed in the lower part of you back by another probe in the seat back.

This may be a good thing to give warning to a driver of impending accident-causing situations of which he may be otherwise unawares, due to the fact that he is busy chuckling over the latest dirty jokes that were sent to him by text message from his co-workers down at the loading dock.  However, if you routinely drive in rush hour traffic or, say, any school zone, you are bound to emerge from your car following each trip with more bruises than a New Orleans Saints lineman on Monday morning.

Me, I’d prefer to have a car that automatically sensed when some sunnavabitch cuts you off on the expressway. It would then automatically shoot a mechanical arm out the window to give him the finger and while at the same time firing off some choice words over a loudspeaker at a volume high enough that it could be heard at the other end of the state.  I’d prefer that option well over a satellite radio.